snakes on a plane. who's billiant idea was this? hmmm.... i mean.... really....why dont we just combine morgan's worst fear with something she does on a daily basis. this is one movie that i can say with 100% confidence that i will NEVER..... EVER see. there is no dollar amount that you could pay me to see this movie. i wont even read reviews. what's next? ...... coming to a theatre near you... snakes at burger king? ...... snakes in the grocery store?...... no place is safe for morgan.
you know it's going to be a good voicemail when it starts out...... "morgan. this is chris ables. your best friend from high school. remember, we went to prom together"..... he starts every late night phone call with that beginning line.... note: we did not go to prom together.
i had a guy on the plane the other day that was inquiring about food. he says.... are we going to have like a snack or anything?.. granted this was only an hour flight, so we told him that we had peanuts. and he says,'well if i start now, can we see how many i could eat?' .... he was very hungry. now... we are still on the ground at this time. so one of the flight attendants goes in the back and grabs an entire bag of peanuts. not just an individual bag of peanuts..... she grabbed a big bag that holds roughly 25 individual bags of peanuts. at the end of the hour we had the whole plane fist pumping and yelling, "WILL! WILL! WILL! WILL!"..... it was awesome. i dont know where him and his friends were going... but will was gonna be some kind of sick.
i swear....i cannot get away from delilah. you know who i'm talking about..... that lady on the easy listening radio station late at night, with the oh-so creepy voice. i hate delilah. her voice is not soothing, it is creepy. and while we are going with this hateful segment of the journal today, i'd like to say this..... go to hell n'kimbe.
i've decided. the laziest people on earth are those people who stand still on the moving walk ways at airports. extra points if you are eating ice cream while standing still. however, have you ever been in a really big hurry at the airport and actually gotten on one of those where you could really truck it? you start moving your legs and you look around you and everything is moving so fast, and you almost believe you have super power walking skills......until you reach the end of the moving walkway and you step on to still ground without realizing it and you trip and almost eat it... if you have never experienced this... i suggest you try it. or.... just watch for a flight attendant to come along.... you would think we would learn our lesson.
there was a time. a few days ago. i was thinking about shutting down the journal again. i thought i had lost "the funny".... that's the only purpose of this thing anyways. who cares what i do or think on a daily basis....unless i can make it entertaining.
and thats all. well.... that and i think i'm going deaf.