*so when i was younger (and i might have told you this before) it was my childhood ambition to work at mcdonalds. see... the way i figured it... mcdonalds was just about the biggest company i could fathom at the age of 7. i mean... i always had fun when i was there. they were always changing the sign so it said 'over 88 billions burgers sold'. i figured those people were banking! while everyone else i knew was playing school.... i was playing drive thru. i was excellent at it. "welcome to mcdonalds, can i take your order?"
*and i just remembered this one the other day.... when i was younger, i loved the bozo the clown show. you know the one. (and if you dont, then you were seriously deprived as a child) well there was this one segment and bozo would shout out "it's time for the grand! prize! game!" basically, they set up 6 buckets in a line and you would have to stand behind a line and try to make a ping pong ball in to the buckets starting with the closest bucket number one. (i always got mad when a kid couldnt even make it into bucket number one. pathetic. bad form.) you got a prize everytime you made one of the buckets. in the first couple of buckets they were lame prizes, however when you got to about the 2nd or 3rd bucket, they would bring out a lifetime supply of archway cookies. now, i had never had an archway cookie, but i thought it would be cool to tell all my friends, 'yeah, come over to the house, i'll get my mom to break out the archways". well, in the last bucket bozo always put a "crisp 100 dollar bill" and everyone would go "OoOoOoOoooooo" and he would taunt you with the grand prize....a brand. new. schwinn. bicycle. (it really is amazing what my brain retains) well... i figured i had just about as good a shot as anyone else to be on the show, and i figured that i would ultimately be picked to participate in the grand. prize. game. so i began practicing. whenever i got grounded (which happened to be a lot) i would practice. mom just thought she was punishing me, when actually she was just contributing to my hours and hours of countless ping pong ball tossing skills. i would set up six buckets in my room (and by buckets i mean boxes, tubs, caboodles, anything that a ping pong ball could be shot into.) and i then i would practice. i practices my excited jumping up and down as i made each bucket, i practiced my surprised look when they brought out the lifetime supply of archway cookies (why do i tell you these things?) and i practiced my concentrated look when i was going for bucket number 6. i knew i was going to get my chance. i knew i was going to be on that show. i would be ahead of the game by practicing. ....... i never got to be on the bozo show. but if i had i would like to believe that i would have at least made enough buckets that i could have gotten the lifetime supply of archway cookies. (you know that some where there are a bunch of people with lifetimes supplies of archway cookies. i bet they dont even eat them anymore. ....how ungrateful.)
and you say i have no ambition!?!