so i'm at the mall the other day. you know, shopping. i venture into urban outfitters. urban outfitters. the epitome of cool. right? so after mindlessly walking around the store for about 10 minutes, i begin to sense how not-so-acutely awkward i feel. i just keep walking around looking for something that i would wear in public, instead of thinking, 'yeah my grandma has that in baby blue.' i walk over to a stand of shirts, and pick one up, and then proceed to turn it around, and around, trying to figure out which way is up and which side is the front. until i just kind of inconspicuously look around and place it back on the table as if i never touched it. it's like the people in there knew that i wasnt really supposed to be there. (i swear the seasame street game "one of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesnt belong" song was running over the speaker system) i dont wear flats. i dont own a huge brightly colored belt. i dont get the whole "layering" thing. i'll never wear tights. i dont enjoy dressing like the bag lady. and my head is too big for most hats. but... secretly.... what i really want to do.... is cut my hair a little shorter and a little more spiky, dye it platinum blonde, with some really cool colored highlights, pierce my eyebrow, and tell everyone, 'yeah, i got it at urban'.
i'm so not cool.